9 Signs Youre Dealing With an Emotional Manipulator

9 Signs Youre Dealing With an Emotional Manipulator WHAT IS EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION?Ever b??n in a situation where ??u find yourself ???l?gizing f?r ??m?thing you ?l??rl? didn’t do? Y?u find ??ur??lf t?king th? bl?m? for something ??m??n? ?l?? did?Th??? ?itu?ti?n? are m?r? ??mm?n th??? d??? ?nd it i? usually as a r??ult ?f ?m?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?ti?n?.If ??u’v? ?v?r found ??ur??lf in a ?itu?ti?n where someone d??? ??m?thing t? hurt ??u ?nd during th? course ?f th? discussion ?b?ut what h????n?d ?nd ??u find ??ur??lf apologizing ?nd bl?ming yourself, H?ll?! You’ve b??n ?m?ti?n?ll? m?ni?ul?t?d.Emotional manipulation whi?h is ?l?? kn?wn as ????h?l?gi??l m?ni?ul?ti?n is defined as th? b?h?vi?r th?t is intended t? change the ?ttitud? or behavior of ?th?r ????l? by u?ing devious, deceptive ?r ?v?n ?bu?iv? means with th? intention t? ??iz? ??w?r, ??ntr?l, benefits and/or privileges ?t th? vi?tim’? expense.It is important t? distinguish healthy social influence from emotional manipulation.Healthy social influ?n?? ???ur? between m??t ????l?, and is part ?f the give ?nd t?k? ?itu?ti?n? ?f ??n?tru?tiv? r?l?ti?n?hi??.In emotional manipulation on th? other hand, you ?r? being u??d f?r th? b?n?fit ?f th? ?th?r ??rt?. The m?ni?ul?t?r d?lib?r?t?l? ?r??t?? ?n ?tm???h?r? wh?r? he ?r ?h? exploits you in such a way th?t it serves hi? ?r her agenda. SIGN? OF EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND ?R??TI??L ?X?M?L??1. They never take r????n?ibilit? ?????i?ll? wh?n thing? dont g? w?llH?v? you ever m?t one ?f those kinds ?f ????l? who n?v?r d? ?n?thing wr?ng? Or ?t l???t th?t i? what they b?li?v?.I know I have. It’s n?v?r ever th?ir fault. It’s ?lw??? ??u, n?t th?m.Its ??tu?ll? ?l??r th?t it w?? hi? f?ult, but he’d n?v?r agree to that.Ev?r?thing that has ?v?r h????n?d to them i? usually something th?? h?d n? control over ?? they ?l?im. “H? fired m? because h? didn’t lik? m?” ?r “She br?k? up with m? because ?h? ??uldn’t handle being in a r?l?ti?n?hi?”.Th? excuses they m?k? u? t? ??nvin?? th?m??lv??, ?nd ?th?r?, ?f th?ir l??k ?f fault ?r? ??t?ni?hing.S?m?tim?? b?d things happen to g??d ????l? but, ?v?n th? g??d ????l? kn?w th?t ??m? ?f those bad things w?r? avoidable if th?? d?n? ??m?thing different ?nd th?? ?????t th?? made a mi?t?k?? m?ving f?rw?rd, but ?m?ti?n?l manipulators ?lw??? b?li?v? it’s your f?ult.And they do ?nd say everything to ??nvin?? you th?t ??u ?r? th? ?r?bl?m. H?w t? react: you h?v? t? ??lit?l? ?x?l?in t? them with examples if possible h?w and wh?r? th?? did ??m?thing wrong. They will ?till tr? to ?hift th? bl?m? ?g?in to ??u, but ?t thi? ??int, ??u ??uld ju?t w?rk away. They will g?t the m????g? ?v?ntu?ll?.2. Th?? tr? to make ??u f??l b?d f?r d?ing wh?t ??u w?nt, putting th?ir needs above yoursA ?tud? fr?m C?rl?t?n University inv??tig?t?d guilt m?ng?ring as ?n unh??lth? fr?ntlin? relationship m?n??uvr? that m?ni?ul?t?r? fr??u?ntl? u??.Th? ?l???i? guilt tri? m?v?.Em?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?t?r? ?ll have thi? in ??mm?n.Y?u want t? d? something ??u lik? ?nd th?? ?r? lik? “fin?, ?ur?, g? h?ng ? ut with your friends while I ?t?? ?t home lonely” th?? will go ahead t? remind you that their gr?ndm? di?d thi? m?nth 30-years ago and you want to g? have fun with friends and let them mourn ?l?n?.Ev?r?thing h?? t? be about them, ??u ??n’t ?v?n have an i?? cream without th?m m?gi??ll? finding a r????n wh? ??u ?h?uldn’t b???u?? ?f how it affects th?m. “If ??u r??ll? want to go ?n the girl’? w??k?nd, g? ?h??d. I ju?t d?nt und?r?t?nd h?w ??u ??uld leave th? kids ?l?n? with m? f?r th?t long.”Th?? lit?r?ll? don’t ???r?v? ?f ??ur h???in???, only th?ir?. If h? ?r ?h? h?? a b?d d??, ??u d?r? n?t w?t?h a funn? move th?t would m?k? ??u l?ugh b???u?? th?? w?uld ??nd?mn you f?r h?ving a g??d tim?. “I had a b?d d?? ?t th? ?ffi?? t?d?? ?nd ??u are w?t?hing a funn? m?vi? ?nd l?ughing about it, I know ??u d?n’t ??r?, but please ?r?t?nd t? care a bit or wait till I l??v?”.If th?? ?r? n?t b?n?fiting directly from wh?t th?? ?r? d?ing, th?n you ?r? ??lfi?h, only thinking ?b?ut ??ur? ?lf. Th?t is one major ?ign ??u are d??ling with ?n ?m?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?t?r.How t? react: ??u ?im?l? have to kn?w th?t no one is r????n?ibl? f?r your h???in???. Y?u ?l?? d? not owe your h???in??? t? ?n?b?d?. The b??t response t? thi? ?itu?ti?n is t? ign?r? th? ?bu??r and do what makes ??u h???? and ??u don’t have t? ???l?gi?? for it.3. Th?? tr? t? b? th? ??nt?r ?f ?tt?nti?n, m?king ??u f??l less or inferiorIt’s ?ll ?b?ut their career, it’? ?ll ?b?ut how th?? w?nt t? ?u????d and h?w ??u ?h?uld help th?m g?t t? wh?r? they w?nt t? b?.You ?r? not ?ll?w?d t? h?v? dreams, th?ir ?mbiti?n? ?r? m?r? im??rt?nt th?n ??ur?.Everything just h?? to be ?b?ut them.Th?? w?nt to t?lk about th?ir d??, their problems, ?nd th?ir ??hi?v?m?nt?. Yours do not m?tt?r. Wh?t?v?r ?r?bl?m ??u ?r? h?ving; th?? are g?ing thr?ugh or h?v? g?n? through worse. You h?d a g??d d?? at w?rk t?d??? Th?ir day was ?v?n b?tt?r. You had a bad d?? ?t w?rk? Th?? g?t th?t award ?nd ?v?r?b?d? l?v?d him ?r h?r. “C?m? on, your ??hi?v?m?nt? ?r? n?ting ??m??r?d t? min?, I ??uld d? wh?t ??u d? in m? ?l???”.Y?u basically b???m? invincible. Wh?n ????king with a m?ni?ul?t?r, ??u find ??ur??lf gr?du?ll? f?lling int? a ?t?t? of ??n?t?nt li?t?ning with v?r? littl? ??ntributi?n. Th?? simply cannot l??k ???t th?m??lv?? t? notice anyone ?l??.H?w to r???t: like in th? previous r????n??, no ?n? i? r????n?ibl? f?r your h???in??? ?r life. When they m?k? ?v?r? di??u??i?n about th?m, try t? dr?w th?ir attention t? the f??t th?t they ?r? being ??lfi?h and ??lf-??nt?r?d. And if that d???n’t work, you sincerely don’t n??d t? b? in that r?l?ti?n?hi?.4. Th?? m?k? ??u f??l ??rr? f?r v?i?ing concerns or ??m?l?int? d???it? them being genuineTh?? ?lw??? w?nt ??u t? ??u t? keep ??ur ??ini?n? to ??ur??lf.S?m?tim?? th?? ?v?n ask th? ?u??ti?n and demand ??u ?gr?? with them.F?r in?t?n??, th?? want t? g?t a r??ll? ?x??n?iv? ?tuff whi?h b??i??ll? i? ?f no use to th?m or ??u, or the ?ntir? f?mil?; they ju?t l?v? th? id?? ?f owning it .Th?n they w?uld ??k f?r ??ur opinion ?b?ut it, kn?wing fully well you w?uld ??? no, but when you d?, th?? ?l?? it ?? if ??u d?n’t want th?m to b? h????.Th?n, ?ll ?f a ?udd?n, ??u find yourself apologizing and ?v?n ?gr??ing to more.Generally, wh?n ??u mention something th?t bothers ??u, th?? m?k? you feel ??rr? f?r bringing it u?. Y?u ??n never express ??ur concerns with?ut f??r ?f r??ri??l.Th?ir id?? i? to f?r?? you t? k??? ??ur complaints t? ??ur??lf ?nd turn the f??u? b??k t? th?m. Th??? ?r? characteristics ?f an ?m?ti?n?l manipulator.How t? r???t: Y?u are n?t g?ing ?r?z?. Th?? ?r? ?l??ing ??u f?r ?ll it? worth. D?nt fall vi?tim to th??? m?ni?ul?tiv?, guilt-l?d?n ?h?n?nig?n?. D?nt give in to th?ir ????iv? demands or r??u??t? f?r ??m??th?. This ??r??n i? ?n ?dult. R?mind th?m ?f that, and how th?? are ??rf??tl? ?bl? to ???? with your d??i?i?n ?r actions.5. Th?? diminish ??ur ?r?bl?m? or diffi?ulti??Emotional m?ni?ul?t?r? dont ??r? mu?h about ??ur ?r?bl?m?, unless th?? can u?? th ?m ?? a platform to highlight their own situation. “You think you h?d it bad sitting in tr?ffi? today? Did ??u ever think ?b?ut h?w I have t? d??l with tr?ffi? ?v?r? day? It t?k?? ???r? off m? lif?. B? th?nkful ??u only h?d to d??l with it t?d??.”“Gosh, th?t? terrible ??u ?nd ??ur m?m h?d a fight. Well, just be thankful ??u h?v? a m?m. My mom is d??d, and even when ?h? was alive, w? fought much more th?n ??u and your m?m d?. It ?lm??t felt lik? I n?v?r had a m?m.”If ??u ??int ?ut h?w they just turned the t?bl??, th?? will lik?l? try t? m?k? ??u l??k ??lfi?h and ?itiful.Th?? w?uld ?v?n m?k? it seem like ??u are m??king th?m ?r not t?king th?ir problems serious, even after th?? h?v? pointed ?ut th?t th?ir? w?? m?r? severe than ??ur?. They w?nt ??kn?wl?dg? their narcissistic behaviour ?r reframe th? ??nv?r??ti?n around ??ur ??in or diffi?ult?. It just h?? t? be th?m.H?w t? r???t: Th?r?? not mu?h ??u ??n d? in these ?itu?ti?n? ?x???t w?lk away ?nd find someone else wh? i? m?r? ? ?ring, ??m????i?n?t?, ?nd mature. D?nt ?x???? ??ur vuln?r?biliti?? to ??m??n? who tramples all ?v?r th?m.6. They Pr?t?nd to h?l? ??u ?v?n wh?n ??u dont need h?l?Initi?ll?, they will ?h?w ??g?rn??? t? h?l? but ?n?? th?? start th? h?l?ing, you b?gin t? n?ti?? how th?? begin to sigh, and groan, ?nd then finally, they b?gin t? suggest that wh?t?v?r th?? ?gr??d t? do, i? not w?rth it.Th?? w?uld continue t? m?k? subtle ??m?l?int? th?t ?r? usually ????m??ni?d by sarcasm ?nd wh?t not.If ??u ?hin? a spotlight on th?ir r?lu?t?n?? to ??m?l?t? wh?t they volunteered to d? and ?uit whining, th??’ll turn it ?r?und ?n ??u, ???uring ??u th?t, of ??ur??, th?? want to h?l? ?nd th?t you’re ju?t b?ing ??r?n?id.Th?? ??int ?ut th?t it’s hard but th?t they are doing it ??rf??tl?. Th?? want ??u to ??? th?t th?? ?r? ?uff?ring f?r you. Th?? want you t? feel like th? j?b i? ?? diffi?ult that it literally f??l? lik? t?king a bull?t, and th?? t??k that bull?t f?r you. Th? idea i? t? make you f??l guilt? ?n d ind?bt?d t? th?m.How to react: In thi? ????, ??u t?ll th?m ??u ??n ??? that th?? dont want to h?l?, th?? will try t? m?ni?ul?t? ??u furth?r. Y?u will see ?ign? ?f ?m?ti?n?l ?bu?? if h? tells ??u th?t ??u are being unr????n?bl?, ?? he r??ll? w?nt? t? help. In order t? h?ndl? thi? situation, ??u ?h?uld ?im?l? ign?r? his ?igh?. Another ??ti?n i? t? confront him, but he will only tr? t? m?ni?ul?t? ??u ?v?n more.7. Th?? ?r? Indir??tEm?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?t?r? ?r? experts in indir??tn???.Thi? means th?t th?? will t?lk b?hind your b??k, th?? will m?ni?ul?t? ?th?r? int? ???ing wh?t th?? are ?fr?id to say, ?nd th?? will find sneaky w??? t? l?t you know th?t they are unh????.Th?? ?r? just n?t dir??t in ?n?w??. Th?? always find ?n indir??t w?? ?f hurting ??u, so it’s n?v?r th?ir fault.Th?? d?lib?r?t?l? decide t? not r????nd t? your calls, t?xt messages, ?m?il?, ?r ?th?r dir??t inquiries, ju?t t? show ??u that they ?r? m?d ?t ??u or with wh?t you did.They would n?v?r directly t?ll you h?w ??u hu rt th?m because it w?uld be ?b?urd t? ?v?n say it ?l?ud.Th?r?f?r?, they ?h??? to ign?r? ??u or giv? you the ?il?nt tr??tm?nt. Th?ir intent is to place doubt ?nd uncertainty in ??ur mind, and th?n you b?gin t? wonder where and wh?t ??u did wrong.How t? r???t: If you tr? t? confront ?m?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?t?r? th?t exhibit thi? sign, th?? will ??? something lik? you cant expect the w?rld t? stop ju?t b???u?? ??u ?r? busy. The truth is th?t th?r? arent many responses you ??uld give. In f??t, there is n? r????n t? giv? a r????n??. Just get rid ?f the ??r??n in ?u??ti?n.8. Th?? make ?ubtl? thr??t? or use ?ggr???iv? l?ngu?g?This type ?f m?ni?ul?t?r might u?? a l?ud v?i?? or ?t?nd v?r? ?l??? t? you wh?n talking.The t?n? of v?i?? i? meant to f?r?? you to ???ui???? and di???ntinu? th? d?b?t?. The body l?ngu?g? thi? manipulator ?xhibit? i? m??nt t? b? imposing ?nd ???r???iv?. If th?? ?r? n?t ?f l?rg? stature, th?? m?? ???iti?n th?m??lv?? above ??u ?n a ?t?? ?r stand ?v?r ??u whil? ??u ?r? seated.T h?? may ?l?? u?? l?rg? h?nd gestures with ?l?t ?f f??t movements, especially near ??ur f???. Th??? are ?l?? m??nt to intimid?t? ?nd ???r?? ??u into ??ting as th?? dir??t. They might ?v?n resolve to ?utright ?h??i??l vi?l?n??.Ex?m?les m?? in?lud?, your wife h?ving a t?m??r t?ntrum every tim? you bring u? her ?v?r-???nding lif??t?l?. Or m??b? ??ur husband raises hi? v?i?? and slams doors when ??u d? ??m?thing h? d???nt lik?. Ov?r time, th? m?ni?ul?t?r l??rn? all he ?r ?h? has to d? i? get a bit ?r?z? ?nd things will g? th?ir w??.H?w t? r???t: Unl??? ??u f??r ?h??i??l vi?l?n??, ??ll th?m ?ut ?n thi? b?h?vi?ur. If this escalates th? ?ng?r ?r ?ggr???iv?n???, l??v? th? room ?r th? house ?ntir?l?. If ?ng?r ?nd ?ggr???i?n i? l?ft unchecked, it can turn t? m?r? harmful b?h?vi?ur?. Demand counselling ?? the manipulator ??n see clearly wh?t th?? are d?ing ?nd h?w t? ?h?ng? their b?h?vi?ur?.9. Th?? Di??l?? N?g?tiv? Humor ?nd N?g?tiv? ?ur?ri???, giving ??u littl? ?r N? Time t? DecideS?m? m?ni?ul ?t?r? lik? t? m?k? ?riti??l r?m?rk?, ?ft?n disguised ?? hum?r ?r sarcasm, to make ??u ???m inf?ri?r and less ???ur?.Examples can include ?n? variety ?f comments r?nging from your ?????r?n??, to ??ur background ?nd ?r?d?nti?l?.B? m?king ??u look bad, ?nd g?tting ??u to feel bad, th? m?ni?ul?t?r hopes to ?h?w hi? superiority ?v?r ??u. They ??uld ?l?? ?ut undu? pressure ?n ??u t? m?k? a certain d??i?i?n b?f?r? ??u’r? r??d? to even ??n?id?r it ?? an option. In the ?nd, th?ir g??l i? t? ?r?v? to ??u that their opinions ?r? fl?wl???.Some people u?? negative ?ur?ri??? t? ?ut ??u off b?l?n?? and g?in a ????h?l?gi??l advantage.Thi? ??n range from low-balling in a n?g?ti?ti?n ???n?ri?, t? a sudden request ?f ??m?thing you will not be able t? deliver in ??m? w??.T??i??ll?, th? un?x???t?d n?g?tiv? information ??m?? with?ut warning, ?? ??u h?v? little time to ?r???r? and ??unt?r th?ir m?v?. Th? m?ni?ul?t?r m?? ask for ?dditi?n?l ??n????i?n? fr?m you in ?rd?r to ??ntinu? w?rking with ??u.How t? r???t: St?nd u? f?r ??ur??lf, b?ldl? ?nd ??lit? t?ll him/h?r ??u don’t lik? their sense ?f hum?r. If he/she however w?nt? t? force you int? m?king a h??t? d??i?i?n, t?ll th?m you would think about it, using tim? t? ??ur ?dv?nt?g?.EM?TI?N?L M?NI?UL?TI?N IN R?L?TI?N?HI?? The fr?? ?nd ??f? ?x?r???i?n of your id??? ?nd dreams ?r? ??rt ?f what makes a relationship h??lth?.Wh?n two people can d? this with each other, r?l? and ?u???rt ???h ?th?r, th?? form th? basis ?f a h??lth? lif?. R?l?ti?n?hi?? ?r? not ?lw??? ??u?l or evenly balanced every d??, but ?v?r tim?, ?v?r?thing ??u?l? ?ut.T?d?? might b? ?b?ut ??u and th?n t?m?rr?w ?ll ?b?ut him. But in th? ???? where it’s always ?b?ut ??ur ??rtn?r ?nd you n?v?r get support during ??ur times ?f tr?ubl?, look ?ut, ??u might b? in a r?l?ti?n?hi? with someone that i? emotionally m?ni?ul?tiv?.One ??r??n might ?r?vid? th? ?m?ti?n?l support whil? th? ?th?r is going thr?ugh ?ri?i?. In tim?, the ?ri?i? will ?nd and th? ?u???rtiv? ??r??n will b???m ? th? r??i?i?nt ?f support.Ev?r??n? takes their turn. The mutu?l r?????t tw? individu?l? in a r?l?ti?n?hi? h?v? f?r one ?n?th?r helps th?m m?int?in ??r??n?l b?und?ri?? whil? gr?wing t?g?th?r. R?l?ti?n?hi?? where ?n? ??rt? freely ?nd ??ntinu?u?l? abuses the ?th?r isn’t a g??d r?l?ti?n?hi? ?t ?ll.Emotional manipulation h?? n? place in a h??lth?, nurturing relationship. You and ??ur ??rtn?r are fr?? t? express your n??d? and opinions. N? ?n? ?h?uld be ???r??d ?r manipulated int? ??ting in a ??rt?in w??. Em?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?ti?n is d?ng?r?u? t? r?l?ti?n?hi?? b???u?? it f?r??? people to alter their behaviour f?r th? wr?ng reasons.B?h?vi?ur? b???d on guilt ?r f??r? are not genuine.Will ??u lik? ??m??n? t? l?v? ??u b???u?? they ?r? ?fr?id n?t t??Em?ti?n?l manipulation ?ut? ?ll th? power into th? m?ni?ul?t?r’? h?nd? ?nd leaves the ?th?r party f??ling w??k and vuln?r?bl?. At ?n? time, the manipulator might unleash his wrath, r?fu?? t? t?lk ?r ?im?l? w?lk out ?f th? relationship.Em?ti?n?l m ?ni?ul?tiv? r?l?ti?n?hi?? ?r? just ?? b?d ?? ?h??i??ll? ?bu?iv? relationships, if n?t w?r??.H?W EM?TI?N?L MANIPULATION ?FF??T? ??U, MENTALLY ?ND ?H??I??LL?P???l? wh? are vi?tim? of ?m?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?ti?n ?r? m?d? t? feel ?m?ll ?nd powerless.Wh?n ??m??n? ?u?h?? ??u around ?ll th? tim?, ??u ?t?rt t? believe that ??u ?r? w??k. Em?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?t?r? ??u?? a r?du?ti?n in ??ur self-esteem b? ??n?t?ntl? reminding ??u ?f your ?h?rt??ming?.Th?n, m?ni?ul?t?r? d?v?l?? a tr?m?nd?u? sense of ??w?r. Wh?th?r th?? are ??n??i?u? ?f it or not, th?? ??? th?t th?? g?t their way all th? time ?nd b?gin t? d?v?l?? a god ??m?l?x, b?li?ving th?t their w?? i? always b??t and th?t it’? n?tur?l ?nd right f?r th?m t? h?v? ??w?r over the ?th?r person.Mental h??lth i??u??, ????ifi??ll? ?nxi?t? ?nd depression, can be ?x???rb?t?d b? ?m?ti?n?l manipulation.Th? vi?tim ?f the m?ni?ul?ti?n b?gin? to anticipate attacks fr?m the m?ni?ul?t?r as if th?? were ?h??i??l. Str??? builds each time th?ir manipulator yells, giv ?? th?m the silent treatment or utilizes ?th?r manipulating tactics.Th?r?’? a constant f??r th?t vuln?r?biliti?? will b? ?x????d ?r ?x?l?it?d.Emotional m?ni?ul?ti?n ?l?? l??d? t? depression. R??ulting for th?t f??ling ?f ??w?rl???n??? wh?n?v?r ??u ?r? abused. The m?ni?ul?ti?n points ?ut flaws, mi?t?k?? and vulnerabilities th?t ??u aren’t ?r?ud ?f.H?ving these things held u? t? ??ur f??? repeatedly ??n dimini?h ??ur ??n?? ?f ??lf-w?rth. It’? easy t? b?li?v? th? m?ni?ul?t?r i? right ?b?ut ??u, and the depression sets in.Sh?rt-T?rm Eff??t? ?f Em?ti?n?l AbuseSh?rt-t?rm ?ff??t? ?f ?n emotionally ?bu?iv? husband ?r wif? ?ft?n h?v? t? d? with th? ?ur?ri?? ?f b?ing in the ?itu?ti?n ?r the questioning ?f just how th? situation ?r???.Some ?m?ti?n?l ?bu??r? d? n?t ?h?w th?ir ?bu?iv? ?id?? until w?ll into a r?l?ti?n?hi?/m?rri?g?. Hu?b?nd? ?r wiv?? may find th?m??lv?? ?h??k?d to ??? the n?w, ?m?ti?n?ll? ?bu?iv? b?h?vi?r.Th? b?h?vi?r and thoughts ?f the vi?tim th?n ?h?ng? in r????n?? t? the ?bu??.Sh?rt-t?rm ?ff??t? ?f ?m?ti?n?l ?bu?? in?lud?:Sur?ri?? ?nd ??nfu?i?nQu??ti?ning ?f ?n?? ?wn m?m?r?, did th?t r??ll? h????n?Anxiety or f??r; hyper-vigilanceSh?m? ?r guiltAggression (?? a d?f?n?iv? m??h?ni?m t? th? abusive behaviors)B???ming ?v?rl? passive or compliantFr??u?nt cryingAvoidance of eye ??nt??tFeeling ??w?rl??? ?nd d?f??t?d ?? nothing ??u d? ?v?r ???m? to b? right (l??rn?d h?l?l???n???)F??ling like youre w?lking ?n eggshellsFeeling m?ni?ul?t?d, u??d and ??ntr?ll?dF??ling und??ir?dA ??rtn?r m?? ?l?? find th?m??lv?? tr?ing t? d? anything ????ibl? t? bring the relationship back t? the w?? it was before th? ?bu??.L?ng-T?rm Eff??t? ?f Em?ti?n?l Abu??In l?ng-t?rm ?m?ti?n?ll? ?bu?iv? ?itu?ti?n?, the vi?tim h?? such l?w ??lf-??t??m that th?? often f??l th?? ??nn?t leave th?ir ?bu??r ?nd th?t they are n?t worthy ?f a n?n-?bu?iv? relationship.Adult ?m?ti?n?l ?bu?? leads to th? victim believing th? t?rribl? thing? th?t th? ?bu??r ???? ?b?ut him/h?r. Emotional ?bu?? vi?tim? of ten think theyre g?ing crazy.Eff??t? ?f l?ng-t?rm ?m?ti?n?l ?bu?? by significant others, boyfriends or girlfri?nd? include:D??r???i?nWithdr?w?lL?w self-esteem ?nd ??lf-w?rthEmotional in?t?bilit?Sleep disturbancesPh??i??l ??in without ??u??Sui?id?l id??ti?n, thoughts or ?tt?m?t?Extr?m? dependence on th? ?bu??rUnd?r??hi?v?m?ntIn?bilit? t? tru?tF??ling tr????d and aloneSub?t?n?? ?bu??St??kh?lm ??ndr?m? is ?l?? ??mm?n in long-term ?bu?? ?itu?ti?n?.In Stockholm ??ndr?m?, th? victim i? so t?rrifi?d of th? ?bu??r th?t h?/?h? ?v?rl? id?ntifi?? ?nd becomes b?nd?d with th? ?bu??r in ?n ?tt?m?t t? stop the ?bu??. The victim will ?v?n d?f?nd th?ir abuser ?nd th?ir ?m?ti?n?ll? abusive actions.H?W TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION D???it? b?ing diffi?ult, ??u ??n ??tu?ll? ?t?? ?m?ti?n?l m?ni?ul?ti?n?.1. Know Y?ur Fund?m?nt?l Human RightsTh? single m??t im??rt?nt guid?lin? when ??u’r? d??ling with an emotional m?ni?ul?tiv? person i? to know your rights, and recognize wh?n th??’r? being vi?l? t?d. Y?u h?v? the right t? ?t?nd u? f?r ??ur??lf and d?f?nd ??ur rights.Th??? ?r? ??m? ?f ?ur fundamental human right?.You h?v? th? right:To b? tr??t?d with r?????t.T? express ??ur feelings, opinions ?nd w?nt?.T? set your ?wn ?ri?riti??.T? say “no” without feeling guilty.T? g?t wh?t you ??? f?r.T? h?v? ??ini?n? diff?r?nt th?n ?th?r?.T? t?k? care ?f ?nd ?r?t??t ??ur??lf fr?m b?ing thr??t?n?d ?h??i??ll?, m?nt?ll? ?r emotionally.T? ?r??t? ??ur ?wn happy and h??lth? life.These fund?m?nt?l human right? represent ??ur boundaries.Our ???i?t? i? riddl?d with l?t ?f ????l? wh? d? n?t r?????t our fund?m?nt?l hum?n right? n?r ?ur b?und?ri??. Em?ti?n?l manipulators, in particular, want t? deprive ??u ?f ??ur right? ?? th?? ??n ??ntr?l ?nd take ?dv?nt?g? ?f ??u.N?n?th?l???, ??u have th? ??w?r ?nd m?r?l ?uth?rit? to declare that it i? you, not the m?ni?ul?t?r, wh?’? in ?h?rg? ?f your lif?.2. K??? Y?ur Di?t?n??One w?? to fish ?ut a m?ni?ul?t?r i? to find ?ut if th? ??r??n ??t? with diff?r?nt f???? and b?h?vi?ur in th? ?r???n?? ?f different ????l? ?nd in diff?r?nt ?itu?ti?n?.Lik? a shape shifter wh? i? extremely ni?? to Mr A ?nd rud? t? Mr B without breaking a ?w??t in ?u?h a n?r?i??i?ti? m?nn?r, lik? h? is ?nj??ing it.While all ?f u? h?v? a degree ?f thi? t??? ?f ???i?l differentiation, ??m? emotional manipulators t?nd t? h?bitu?ll? dw?ll in ?xtr?m??, b?ing highly polite t? one individu?l ?nd completely rud? to another or totally h?l?l??? ?n? moment ?nd fi?r??l? ?ggr???iv? th? n?xt.Wh?n you observe thi? type ?f b?h?vi?ur fr?m an individu?l ?n a r?gul?r b??i?, k??? a h??lth? distance ?nd ?v?id ?ng?ging with th? ??r??n unless ??u ?b??lut?l? h?v? to. R????n? f?r chronic psychological manipulation are ??m?l?x ?nd d???-???t?d. It i? not ??ur j?b to ?h?ng? or ??v? th?m.3. Av?id P?r??n?liz?ti?n ?nd S?lf-Bl?m?It’s n?t always ??ur f?ult.Sin?? th? m?ni?ul?t?r’? ?g?nd? i? t? l??k f?r ?nd ?x?l?it ??ur weaknesses, it i? understandable th?t ??u m?? f??l inadequate, ?r even bl?m? ??ur??lf for n?t satisfying the m?ni?ul?t?r.In th??? ?itu?ti?n?, it i? im??rt?nt to r?m?mb?r th?t ??u ?r? n?t th? problem; you are ?im?l? b?ing m?ni?ul?t?d to f??l b?d ?b?ut yourself, in ?rd?r t? m?k? you more lik?l? t? ?urr?nd?r your ??w?r and right?.C?n?id?r ??ur relationship with th? manipulator, ?nd ??k th? f?ll?wing ?u??ti?n?:Am I b?ing tr??t?d with g?nuin? r?????t?Are thi? person’s ?x???t?ti?n? ?nd d?m?nd? of m? reasonable?I? th? giving in this r?l?ti?n?hi? ?rim?ril? ?n? w?? ?r tw? w????Ultim?t?l?, do I feel g??d about m???lf in this r?l?ti?n?hi??Do I ?v?n h?v? t? be in this r?l?ti?n?hi?Y?ur ?n?w?r? to these ?u??ti?n? give ??u im??rt?nt ?lu?? ?b?ut wh?th?r th? “problem” in th? r?l?ti?n?hi? is with ??u ?r the other ??r??n.For m?r? in-d??th inf?rm?ti?n ?n reducing ?r ?limin?ting ?v?r fifteen types ?f negative ?ttitud?? and f??ling?, ??? H?w t? L?t Go ?f N?g?tiv? Th?ught? and Emotions”4. Put th? Focus ?n Them b? Asking Pr?bing QuestionsM?n u?. Inevitably, ?m?ti?n?l manip ulators will m?k? requests (or d?m?nd?) of you.Th??? “?ff?r?” often m?k? you g? out ?f ??ur w?? to m??t th?ir needs as u?u?l. Wh?n ??u hear an unr????n?bl? solicitation, it’s sometimes useful t? ?ut the f??u? back ?n the m?ni?ul?t?r b? ??king a f?w ?r?bing ?u??ti?n?, t? ??? if ?h? ?r he h?? ?n?ugh ??lf-?w?r?n??? to r???gniz? the in??uit? ?f th?ir ??h?m?. For ?x?m?l?:“Does thi? ???m r????n?bl? to ??u?”“D??? that ??und f?ir to you?”“Do I have a say in thi??”“Ar? ??u ??king me ?r t?lling me?”“So, wh?t d? I get ?ut ?f thi??”“Ar? ??u really expecting me to [restate the in??uit?bl? request]?H?v? ??u ??n?id?r?d h?w thi? m?k?? m? f??l?Would you really do that f?r me if th? ?itu?ti?n w?? r?v?r??d?When ??u ask such ?u??ti?n?, ??u ?r? ?utting u? a mirr?r, ?? th? m?ni?ul?t?r can ??? the tru? n?tur? of his or h?r ?l??. If the manipulator has a degree ?f ??lf-?w?r?n???, h? ?r she will lik?l? withdraw th? d?m?nd and b??k down.On th? ?th?r h?nd, truly pathological manipu lators (such as a narcissist) will dismiss ??ur questions ?nd in?i?t ?n getting their w??. If thi? occurs, ???l? id??? from the f?ll?wing ti?? t? k??? ??ur ??w?r, and h?lt th? m?ni?ul?ti?n or simply l??v? if that is ?n ??ti?n.5. Use Time to Y?ur Adv?nt?g?In ?dditi?n to unreasonable r??u??t?, th? manipulator will ?ft?n ?l?? ?x???t an ?n?w?r fr?m ??u right away, t? maximize their pressure ?nd control ?v?r you in the ?itu?ti?n. (S?l?? ????l? ??ll thi? “closing th? deal.)During these m?m?nt?, in?t??d of responding t? the m?ni?ul?t?r’? request right ?w??, consider l?v?r?ging tim? t? ??ur ?dv?nt?g?, and di?t?n?ing ??ur??lf fr?m his ?r her immediate influ?n??. Y?u can exercise leadership ?v?r the ?itu?ti?n ?im?l? by saying:“I’ll think ?b?ut it.” Consider h?w powerful th??? f?w w?rd? are fr?m a customer t? a ??l????r??n ?r from a r?m?nti? prospect t? ?n ??g?r ?ur?u?r ?r fr?m a wife to a manipulative hu?b?nd.Fir?t, it will ?ut th?m in ?h??k ?? if they just lost th?ir super powers. Take th? time you n??d t? evaluate th? ?r?? ?nd ??n? ?f a situation, ?nd ??n?id?r wh?th?r ??u w?nt t? n?g?ti?t? a m?r? ??uit?bl? ?rr?ng?m?nt, ?r if ??u’r? better ?ff b? ???ing “no,” whi?h l??d? u? t? ?ur next ??int.6. Kn?w H?w to S?? “N?”?Di?l?m?ti??ll? But FirmlyTo b? ?bl? t? ??? “n?” di?l?m?ti??ll? but firml? is t? practice the ?rt of ??mmuni??ti?n.Eff??tiv?l? ?rti?ul?t?d, it ?ll?w? you t? ?t?nd ??ur gr?und whil? maintaining a w?rk?bl? r?l?ti?n?hi?. R?m?mb?r th?t ??ur fundamental hum?n right? include the right to ??t your own ?ri?riti??, the right t? say “n?” without feeling guilt?, ?nd the right t? choose ??ur own h???? and h??lth? lif?.If you ?v?ntu?ll? ??? n?, be sure t? add a f?w r????n? why ?nd say it with ?uth?rit? ?nd ??nfid?n?? with a littl? smile on ??ur f???. Trust m?, th?? w?uldn’t know wh?t hit them.7. C?nfr?nt Bulli??, S?f?l?A psychological manipulator also b???m?? a bull? wh?n h? ?r ?h? intimid?t?? or h?rm? another person.Th? most im??rt?nt thing to k??? in mind ?b?ut bulli?? i? th?t th?? ?i?k ?n th??? wh?m they perceive ?? w??k?r, so ?? long ?? ??u remain ????iv? ?nd ??m?li?nt, ??u make yourself a t?rg?t.But m?n? bulli?? are ?l?? ??w?rd?. Wh?n th?ir targets begin to show ??m? ??rt of b??kb?n? ?nd stand u? f?r th?ir right?, th? bull? will ?ft?n back d?wn. Thi? i? tru? in ??h??l??rd?, as w?ll as in d?m??ti? ?nd office ?nvir?nm?nt?.On ?n ?m??th?ti? note, studies show th?t m?n? bulli?? ?r? vi?tim? of violence th?m??lv??. Thi? in no w?? ?x?u??? bullying behaviour, but may h?l? you ??n?id?r the bull? in a m?r? equanimous light:Wh?n ????l? dont lik? themselves very mu?h, th?? have t? m?k? u? for it. Th? classic bull? w?? actually a vi?tim first.”â€"Tom Hiddl??t?n “S?m? ????l? tr? to b? tall b? ?utting off th? h??d? ?f others.”â€"Paramhansa Yogananda “I r??liz?d that bullying never has to d? with ??u. It? th? bull? whos in???ur?.” â€"Sh?? Mit?h?ll When ??nfr?nting bulli??, b? ?ur? to place ??ur??lf in a ???iti?n wh?r? you can ??f?l? protect yourself, wh?th?r it’? ?t?nding t?ll ?n your ?wn, h?ving ?th?r ????l? ?r???nt t? witness and ?u???rt, or k???ing a paper trail ?f th? bull?’? in???r??ri?t? b?h?vi?r.In ????? of physical, v?rb?l, ?r ?m?ti?n?l abuse, ??n?ult with counselling, legal, l?w enforcement, ?r ?dmini?tr?tiv? ?r?f???i?n?l?. It’s im??rt?nt t? stand u? t? bulli??, and ??u d?n’t h?v? t? d? it alone.8. S?t ConsequencesWhen a ????h?l?gi??l m?ni?ul?t?r insists on vi?l?ting your b?und?ri??, and won’t t?k? “no” f?r ?n ?n?w?r, deploy ??n???u?n??.Th? ability t? identify ?nd assert ??n???u?n??(?) is ?n? of the m??t im??rt?nt ?kill? you ??n u?? t? ?t?nd down a difficult ??r??n. Eff??tiv?l? ?rti?ul?t?d, ??n???u?n?? gives ??u?? t? the m?ni?ul?tiv? individual, ?nd compels her ?r him t? shift fr?m violation to r?????t.